Sunday, April 3, 2011

Thankful

How could anyone assume this an even exchange?

It's priceless even just hearing you call my name,

Not to mention how many ways you've blessed me

You raised me from nothing and grew me literally,

I ran from you yet still looked for your love,

In all the wrong places-in so many faces,

You followed me all the way-always watching for me,

You showed me your truth, time and again,

And time has revealed you're my bestest friend,

You are beyond trustworthy and love is who you are,

All life is in you, I can never stray far,

You are my constant companion- my ever present help,

I could never deserve this, or ever try to earn this,

But I'm oh so very thankful,

I don't wanna seem ungrateful,

So, I just wanted to say thank you, again,

For saving me

Friday, April 1, 2011

Truth

In my short time on this earth I’ve realized that life is a gift, plain and simple. It is so much bigger than I ever imagined, yet everything comes together in the most intricate ways. You know? The smallest gesture can hold the most cherished memories. Yet the most feared of catastrophic events can make no impact…


It all depends on HOW you receive, what you PERCEIVE and the things YOU believe.

I’ll show you what I mean.

Imagine with me for a moment… your parents just bought a new cottage, and they invite you up for the weekend. You go, and have a great time. During the night, you get up to go to the bathroom. You stumble down the hallway feeling around in the dark, in a house you’re not familiar with. Suddenly your hand finds the mantle
mantle
You end up knocking over a vase and it crashes down, hitting you in the head, sending you straight to the emergency room.

Now imagine a similar scene…You’re in a new place, stumbling in the night, searching for the bathroom. Except, this time your Father is waiting for you in the dark. He’s standing in the shadows, listening to your footsteps as you sleepily walk down the hall, hands stretched out, sliding along the wall, the couch, being careful not to trip. When suddenly you’re within reach, he swings his arm, vase in hand, smashing it across your head.

Your feelings weren’t hurt the first time.  But you have the same injury, it happened at the same place, the same time, with the SAME vase.

Its the motive that made the difference, UNLESS you don't let it.

Everyday we have choices to make our life better, by forgiving.

By reaching out and loving people who have hurt us, we have the chance to CHANGE  people’s lives. Or, we can choose to continue on the path we're already on, just looking out for ourselves and stepping over anyone that interferes.

You don't need to receive an apology to forgive somebody, it all depends on how you react internally. And, really, unforgiveness only hurts you, the longer you harbor bitterness and anger, the longer it eats away at you.

Yeah, maybe your Dad needs some counseling, or a psychiatrist to figure out why he attacked you.

But, every moment we have opportunities to love others or to inflict pain. We have the chance to speak truth or to cover things up with lies.

I don't know about you, but I am in search of the truth, in every aspect, and that is the only thing that I seek. If all that I know and love is truth, and if the things that flow from my life are true, how can I go wrong?

The only thing I'm buying into is truth, and love and peace…

and I'm never selling out.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

this war

Written by a Marine housewife in New Jersey to the New York
Times, this is one ticked off lady.
Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not
started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September11, 2001?
Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan , across the Potomac from our nation's capitol and in a field in Pennsylvania ? Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they? And I'm supposed to care that a copy of the Koran was 'desecrated' when an overworked American soldier kicked it or got it wet?...Well, I don't. I don't care at all.
I'll start caring when Osama Bin Laden turns himself in and
repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.
I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start
caring about the Holy Bible, the mere possession of which is a crime
in Saudi Arabia
.
I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for
hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling
slashed throat.
I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in
Iraq and Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead! of
disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques.
I'll care when the mindless zealots who blow themselves up in search
of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of
their suicide bombs.
I'll care when the American media stops
pretending that their First Amendment liberties are
somehow derived from international law instead
of the United States Constitution's Bill of Rights.
In the meantime, when I hear a story about a brave marine
roughing up an Iraqi terrorist to obtain information, know this:
I don't care.
When I see a fuzzy photo of a pile of naked
Iraqi prisoners who have been 'humiliated' in what amounts to a college-hazing incident, rest assured: I don't care.
When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told
not to move because he might be booby-trapped,
you can take it to the bank:
I don't care.
When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer
mat, and fed 'special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars,
is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you
can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:
I don't care.
And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran'
and other times 'Quran.
' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn and, you guessed it,
I don't care!!
'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a
difference in the world. But, the Marines don't have that problem.
' --
Ronald Reagan
One last thought for the day:
In case we find ourselves starting to believe all the Anti-American sentiment and negativity, we should remember England 's Former Prime Minister Tony Blair's words during a recent interview.
When asked by one of his Parliament members why he believes so much in America , he said: 'A simple way to take measure of a country is to look at how
many want in... And how many want out.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Deployment

So I was driving to Jacksonville in the dark last night and thinking about life.dark road
 
Sometimes, I feel like I'm constantly traveling a path I've never been ... Lately there have been so many things happening, that I've never experience before.... I feel like a pioneer of my own life, traveling the road untraveled..... if that makes any sense....
Never been the only VanLoon child in a state before,
I've never been so far from my nieces and nephews before.
I've also never been in this place spiritually before, that's a good change though.
I also realized that a dark road with weak headlights is even harder to navigate when my eyes are filled with tears, I couldn't even tell that my windshield was fogging up, that was interesting driving....
I was thinking about my brothers going to Afghanistan... its not like they haven't been deployed before.
 
They went to Iraq in 2005 but they both came home within months because of injuries.
And now people say it is worse in Afghanistan then Iraq.
My brothers who are so brave and (I think) happy to be serving their country will be over there in the middle of it.
I do know that God is protecting them. And I believe they will be home in no time, safe and sound.
But I can't help to think what I would possibly do with myself if something happened to them. I can't imagine them not coming home. I would miss them SO SO much. I feel so powerless. And then I began thinking that I am just their little sister.... I'm just one of many people who love them dearly. There are much more difficult positions to be in... I'm not their mother, their wife, the mother of their child or even a girlfriend... I'm just the girl that grew up with them, got teased by them, walked to school with them, shared secrets and stories with them. I was the little girl squished between them in the family Christmas picture.....
And now they are in a war, defending our country's freedom while there are retards everywhere bashing our president, his efforts, this war...
and even the troops....

MY BIG BROTHERS....
I love them so much, yet I know they have more important women in their lives who love them just as much or even more....And I think who am I to be missing them?
I only see them a couple times a year since I moved to NC....
There's just something drastically different between being up north, and being across the world driving a tank through a foreign country...
Then I think, at the same time, if I just ignore the situation, maybe it will go faster, and they will be home for Christmas.
Its like when you watch the clock at work it moves like a snail.... if you don't look at it, somehow it feels like, maybe it will actually go  faster.
I guess the key is not to dwell on it, focus on my life from day to day, to day... 
Besides,  how many tears can I cry? Life is just hard sometimes I guess .....